Wizard Academy FTW!
Intro
Welp, I've been sent to writer's camp. Not a moment too soon (thinks everyone)!
Somehow, my benevolent manager greenlit a class called Applied Wordsmithing 1: Writing to Involve, Enchant and Persuade as IT geek training. It's held at a joint called Wizard Academy. So, that's fun!
Hello Austin!
Day 0
Wizard Academy is a wonderous campus nestled in the hills of Austin, TX. The gothic abandon-asylum-looking joint where we assemble for class is called Wizard's Tower. Our accommodations feature a stunning view of the Austin hills. And our always-open kitchen is stocked with booze, wine, and Modelo—score! Oh yea, if food is your thing, they have that as well.
The Wizard's Tower, boo hoo ha ha ha!
Both drinking and socializing are highly encouraged (see their website). I do agree that this place could be "disquieting" as the materials warn. However, I'm generally in full-blown adventurer mode when I flee my comfort zones and places, so I didn't feel much disquiet. In fact, I can't imagine a place on earth where I belong more than here.
Buzz Bar - Kitchen, Englebrecht House
The vibe of this place is so much different than the places I tend to inhabit on a typical week (ATL, MSP, sometimes FLA). It's crucial to be disoriented periodically. I mean...how much fun can one really have doing the usual shit day after day after...
Helpful little signs everywhere
Even the entrance to my "house" is cool. Engelbrecht House is more like a groovy Middle Age motel. All rooms open to an outdoor balcony or courtyard depending on which level you're inhabiting. I'm on the balcony level, and the view of the Austin hills ain't shabby much.
Engelbrecht "drawbridge" entrance
I'm headed down to the kitchen to see what's happenin'. I'll report back later...
I had quite an entertaining evening in the kitchen. Steven, an academy veteran, sauntered in a few moments after I cracked a Modelo. We had a fantastic chat. We hit topics strangers explore to figure out if they're conversing with a fellow awesome human or covert serial killer. Steven is the former. He's also a credentialed whiskey sommelier. Never one to shy away from a yummy brown liquor, we sampled what the Buzz Bar had to offer.
Still Austin's cask strength bourbon was my favorite Buzz Bar discovery
Eventually, Jessica and her daughter joined us. They jacked the revelry up a notch. What's the saying? Two's company, three's a crowd, four's a hoedown! Before I headed to the kitchen, I'd planned to be tucked into bed no later than 11:30 PM. As per my modus operandi, when I dropped my phone on the nightstand it read 12:38 AM. Doh!
Day 1
Needless to say, the Wizard's Tower classroom is no classroom I've ever seen. It felt like a richly appointed conference room set in a castle tower. There is very little plastic or metal, just a lot of dark woods and stone walls. It's a mix of modern and medieval. So you know—stunning!
Looking northwest
Looking northeast
The day commenced with vineal vigor. Only seconds after our instructor sashayed in, one of my course mates demanded a bottle of wine be uncorked. I found this amusing. That three others joined him, I found astounding. Unless beachside, I tend to observe a strict "No alcohol before happy hour!" policy. I was in no condition to be imbibing at 8:30 AM. But for those magnificent bastards who did, I was applauding vigorously, in my head.
The academic portion of the day began with a field trip. We were asked to describe the yellow submarine contraption. It was much harder than you can imagine. It turns out describing things is a skill that few practice, fewer have honed, and none have perfected. Of all the lessons, it was the most useful.
"Describe this!' Chris demands.
I came up with the following, which received a grade of, "Fail." And I was the first to fail, as I was sitting at the first seat in the second row.
It appears as a gondola whose hot air balloon drifted away. Except the gondola looks more like a Soviet cold-war era military gondola. It features a closable hatch, dangling hoses and wires, and a pair of sad ratchet straps for securing lord knows what? Weather has beaten much of the yellow from it.
At lunch, I snapped a photo of the door I'd open and close many times on the way to the exterior yet interior restroom. I then took a shot of the path to the tower from the tower's vantage point.
The "restroom door"
The tower is easy to defend from the balcony
The rest of the day was dense with instruction, exercises, and anecdotes. It was grueling to write so much in a day. I decided to make it more grueling by leaving my laptop in my room. I wrote with a pencil instead. Intensive penciling is just not a thing I do, often, ever. Hello writer's cramp!
At dinner, we were offered a chance to visit the Whiskey Vault if we were so inclined. Half of us were. And I'm damn glad I volunteered! There is really no way to shoot this approximately 500 square foot space. I did my best with the amateur PANO setting on my mobile communications device.
The vault holds approximately 3,000 bottles of whickey, bourbon, and scotch from all over the world
Daniel, our cruise director, whiskey somm, and vault captain, had selected five specimens for us to sample. We were given the option to swish & spit or swallow. Any guesses on which option I chose? I rarely trust my hot takes after five whiskeys, but I think Lineage Whiskey from Balcones Distilling is one of the most delightful whiskeys I've ever sampled.
Lineage FTW!
Along with the samples came a wealth of stories, tales, lies, and exaggerations. The real treat came after Daniel's enlightening presentation. He asked each of us if we wanted to try anything else after the infusion of brown liquor knowledge he'd imparted. Unsurprisingly, everyone did.
Daniel in action
I mentioned that, like him, I too lived in a border state. And while monitoring the U.S. border meant something completely different in Minnesota, I did want to learn more about the cagy lot to my immediate north. I asked to try a Canadian whiskey. Daniel immediately asked, "One that you can find, or one you can only drink in this room?" "Duh, only in this room," I replied. He smiled and walked around the corner.
I forget to snap a shot of the label, but I sampled a special batch of JP Weiser's Canadian whiskey. It was great! I also tried a little something from the motherland: a Swedish whiskey called Mackmyra.
Daniel tracking down obscure whiskeys for us
And if the night couldn't get any better, Daniel invited us onto the mezzanine between the vault and the classroom for any other brown liquors we fancied. He also produced a variety of cigars. Everyone grabbed a seat. Some grabbed a cigar. We chatted and celebrated being alive in that perfect spot on a spectacular Texas evening. The impromptu jamboree continued right up to the day's deadline as the rain approached.
So.
Damn.
Fun!
Yours truly and some of the booze
As an epilogue to the evening...
The diverse assembled group hailed from exotic locations like, Texas, North Carolina, South Dakota, Massachusetts, Minnesota/Atlanta, Australia/Thailand, and England/St. Petersburg Russia. Hence, there were accents. In the course of discussing accents, Steven asked a pertinent question, "How do non-English speakers imitate English speakers?"
Someone brought up a song foreign to me. (See what I did there?) The song, called "Prisencolinensinainciusol," was written to mimic the way English sounds to non-English speakers. That such a thing exists blew my actual mind. I was rather tipsy, but still. If you've never heard/seen it—it's solid gold!
"Prisencolinensinainciusol"
Day 2
Day two began with the same assignment that kicked off day one. And thankfully I had a chance to redeem myself. Unlike day one, we were allowed to select our own object to describe.
My selection
Twenty feet in the air hovers a weathered white disc approximately two feet in diameter. Jutting out from the center is a protrusion that resembles a light bulb. A black cable snakes from the back of the disc for a few feet before disappearing into the wall. The entire apparatus is anchored to the building by a three foot metal pipe.
Chris looked at me and immediately said, "A satellite dish of some sort." I nodded. He then admitted to never seeing it during his hundreds of sojourns to the Dulcinea Chapel—another structure on the campus. He added, "Huge improvement!" I guess you can teach an old Swede new tricks...
The rest of the day unfolded much like the previous. The one exception being a visit by the wizard himself, Roy H. Williams. In addition to building an advertising empire upon which this magical compound was built, he owns one of the largest collections of Don Quixote artwork.
When he arrived to fetch an original Adolphe Monticelli, which he had in a vault (one that held no brown liquor), he spun us a yarn about Don Quixote, Monticelli, and Dulcinea. He then disappeared only to return with an original Monticelli painting. So that was neat!
Day two wound down with an impromptu gathering on the Engelbrecht patio. The weather was glorious. The conversation was lively. The whiskey was divine.
Drinks on the patio
Far away training classes are often fun. As a veteran of the IT wars, I've likely attended at least a couple dozen. I'm not gonna lie, it's a great perk of being a corporate American.
Applied Wordsmithing 1: Writing to Involve, Enchant and Persuade was unique and extra special. Part of it was the cool Wizard Academy campus. Part was the wonderful souls who attended with me. Part of it was the whiskey. But the course content was the stand-out.
Wizard Academy truly lives up to its slogan: Non-Traditional Non-Profit Non-Boring Business School.
I'm already writing better for surviving the course. If this piece is not proof, just wait until you read my upcoming Insta posts. Then there's my novels—the future ones—they're bound to be smashing! Our instructor, Chris Mattock, is a student of literature and a savant of marketing. His practical advice and writing exercises proved this course's worth.
I'm already lobbying my manager for a return trip next year to "endure" the Magic Words course.
Cheers!
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© 2024 – ∞ B. Charles Donley